I’m taking a vacation!

Dear Diary,

I’m basically copying/pasting from an announcement I gave my Patreon members earlier because I still have quite a few things to do before I can call it quits for the night. So. Here goes:

On the 1st, I’m going on a weeklong vacation and will be utterly unreachable by everyone save the family, Anne, and Rebecca. I won’t be doing anything author related. Anything. It’s going to be straight up Alexa time, because honestly I deserve a vacation and I haven’t taken one since… well… ever. Since I started writing two years ago I’ve been going full-tilt, juggling five hours a day of writing plus a job and familial/romantic responsibilities.

And I love it.

But it can be draining.

And I need to recharge my creative batteries, you know? To kick back and enjoy the fruits of my labor a bit.

The good news? I’ll be back full-force October 8th. 🤗 My last communication with the outside world will be the weekly Patreon chat this Sunday, so be there, motherfuckers.

I love you. All of you. And I’ll miss you.

Don’t forget about me. I promise I won’t forget about you. 😉

#Alexa

“My public is growing up just as I am. After all, I’m not 19 anymore and if I stick with the sex bit, who will be paying to see me when I’m 50?”

– Marilyn Monroe

Just call me Senpai

Dear Diary,

One of the questions I get asked most often (and by most often I mean damn near twice a week) is how to write a story – how to get from point A to point Z. And I legit hate this question, though probably not for the reasons you may think. I hate it because I highly encourage everyone to come up with their own modus operandi, their own way of crafting a story that is not only unique but comfortable and natural to them as well.

However, I understand why they’re asking. Writing can be (and often is) scary when you’re first starting out. You’re always wondering if you’re doing something wrong, how to be better, and how to get an edge over what everyone else is doing to make yourself stand out and sell more books.

I understand. I get it. I was like that when I first started out too.

And then I just said fuck it. 😅

I don’t agonize over sales anymore, and generally don’t care what the next author is up to (though I do admittingly stalk several authors such as Amanda and Selina because I find them fascinating as fuck). I also don’t write what I think will sell best (shut up Quickies), I write what’s screaming to rip its way out of my head. But that’s me now. I’ve clawed my way to this point, and to be honest, it wasn’t easy.

So I understand. I get it.

Which is precisely why I’m about to do a short series on story crafting. I’ll be posting it on Patreon at the rate of about one episode a week, with a link to it here in the pages of my Diary and on social media. So keep an eye out for it. 😊

Some of you may be like “Hold up wench. What makes you qualified to produce a series on story crafting?!”

I’m glad you asked.

The quick and dirty answer: I make a reasonably decent amount of money every month doing it, so I must be doing something right.

The better answer: experience.

See, I’ve learned a lot over these past few years as a self-published author, most of which from being hard-headed and making about every mistake imaginable. Hell, my first handful of books didn’t even have a table of contents or metadata because I was trying to be different. It wasn’t until I had a spicy back and forth with a representative from Smashwords (whom I no longer publish through) that I began to see the error of my ways. It was then that I decided to start taking this author stuff seriously. On several levels.

Hopefully, you’ll come check the series out and let me know what you think.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to writing a tale of love, ghosts, and incest… 😏

#Alexa

“If I practiced sex, out of moral conviction, that was one thing; but to enjoy it… seemed a defeat.”

– Martha Gellhorn

Breaking records…

Dear Diary,

So I’m stubborn. Many of you already know that, but let me illustrate why I’m writing that now.

I woke up yesterday morning feeling like someone stepped on me, wiped their feet on my body, and then kicked me across the room for good measure. I also woke up late as hell, because my body just refused to rise any sooner. I slithered into the kitchen and smacked my big brother unit repeatedly (we both had these past few days off) until he made me some peanut butter pancakes and oatmeal, and then rolled to my computer desk like Sonic the Hedgehog to start my day of writing.

The first few minutes were spent simply staring at my computer screen, blinking dumbly and swaying in my chair.

The next handful of hours were spent cranking out 7,469 words yesterday, and almost the same amount today. Both days broke personal records. 😳

That is not a brag. That is me mystified at how productive I can be even though I feel the way I do. Putting my headphones on and diving into Nephilim: Prisoner transports me to another world, and by the time the clock buzzes after five hours have passed I’m always baffled at where the time went. I’m enjoying writing this book so much, even though it’s quickly climbing to 50,000 words. A true novel-length book. My first. Definitely not my last.

And I have a surprise for my Patreon supporters: when the book is finally finished, they will get it immediately. Well, as soon as my editor and Beta Reader Hit Squad gets done with it. Soon, my pretty’s, soon… 🤗

Which means if you haven’t read the first book in the series, Nephilim: Daybreak, please do so. Or you could always pick up the audiobook instead if that’s your thing. It will be worth it, trust me. And it will make the second book make a lot more sense.

Anyway.

I think my big brother unit needs some cockblocking attention – his ex-girlfriend just came over and they’re sitting a little too close on the couch. 😅 Until tomorrow, my loves…

#Alexa

“Scouting ought to be about building character, not about sex. Period. Precious few parents enroll their boys in the Scouts to get a crash course in sexual orientation.”

– Rick Perry

Let’s talk about sex…

Dear Diary,

I get hostile when I’m horny. Fact. Especially when I have a living, breathing vessel for my sexual release but she always seems to be motherfucking busy lately bitch you know I’m talking to you get your ass over here and give me release before I kill you and anyone that looks like you

Sorry. Got a little carried away there. 😳

Maybe I have too much energy because I haven’t been able to work out lately. I apparently went a little overboard and hurt my left foot – nothing serious, but enough to cancel out most of my cardio for a bit. Which means all this energy I usually let loose is building up, and

seriously bitch answer your motherfucking text messages you know I’m trying to get ahold of you quit acting bougie I know where you live

I guess what I’m trying to say is that my hormones are going crazy, and it’s beginning to seep into my writing in a huge way. Like, my love scenes are ending up multi-paged and cranking out dialogue is only annoying me. 😅 This is usually the reverse of the way I write. I think my day can best be summed up by a social media post I let loose this morning:

“Slept like shit. Can’t quit coughing. Coffee having zero effect. Did not feel like writing. Sat down to write anyway. Somehow managed to crank out 2,516 words. 😳 #AmWriting #AmEditing #AmPossessed?”

So yeah.

Slight topic shift.

As I write this, I’m listening to the latest podcast from Writing Excuses, Episode 13.37, and it has to be one of the most audibly awkward experiences I’ve ever had. In it, they are talking to a guest author about writing characters that are gender nonconformist, binary, etc., which apparently the author defines herself as. I’m kind of looking at my speaker like it’s insane because it seems like… I’ll just say this: I’m bisexual. I know this because I am sexually attracted to, and have fallen in love with, both men and women. I couldn’t care less what anyone thinks about this, and I feel absolutely zero motivation to continually discuss it or throw it in anyone’s faces. I mean, why would I? What would I gain? That being written, everyone has a right to sexually be whatever they want to be and see themselves in whatever sexual light they choose, but why does this have to be a constant public discussion? People being offended by pronouns, public restroom usage, etc.

It seems like recently this whole non-binary thing has just erupted and it’s something like a fashion statement now. I see it all over social media on almost every platform, and it just puzzles me. Honestly, I don’t care one way or another what someone’s sexual or romantic (or lack thereof) preference is… I’m going to stop myself there before I go on a real rant. I dunno. Maybe I’m just weird.

Anyway, as always, thank you for taking time out of your life to read my words. I love you for that.

What are your thoughts?

Let me know. 😊

#Alexa

“Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward. Next to the first one in the morning, it’s the best one of all. It tasted so good that even if I had been frigid I would have pretended otherwise just to be able to smoke it.”

– Florence King

I didn’t wanna get up. And recreational cock-blocking. 🐓

Dear Diary,

I’ve been a flurry of writing lately, most of it concerning my latest Nephilim book, Prisoner. This week alone I’ve written (and edited) over 50,000 words, worked on numerous pen name projects, and finished episodes of Voyeur and Erotic Urban Legends. Because of that, I’ve been mentally drained at the end of each day, and some of you may have gotten a lackluster response from me when you reached out to communicate. Please don’t take it personally. When I focus this heavily on such a large project, I put everything I am into it.

Which probably explain why I woke up this morning feeling just blah. I had zero motivation to get out of Anne’s bed (I spent the night), so for almost two hours I just laid there and relaxed, letting my mind wander and trying (albeit, weakly) to get myself up and productive. Anne’s snoring has a hypnotic effect, apparently, so during this time I drifted back to sleep for a bit before I snapped awake and slithered over to my laptop.

I’m not burning out, I’m not burning out, I’m not burning out…

This week hasn’t been all work, however. Mainly because my big brother unit refused to let it be. We finally got to watch Black Panther, which we both absolutely fell in love with, and he even made me his famous nachos for dinner the other day (note: drinking a cappuccino while eating nachos is not a good idea. The flavors just don’t mix 😵.) I even managed to cock-block him when his ex was over by sleeping in his bed with him cause reasons. Not sorry. 😜

This weekend cannot get here soon enough. I plan on devastating my liver while simultaneously terrorizing social media, so look forward to that. It’s going to no doubt be entertaining. 😅 Until then, however: Nephilim. And maybe more cock-blocking…

#Alexa

🔔 P.S: Interview with A Werewolf is now available as an audiobook! Go check it out! https://buff.ly/2N8e37X

“I think there is some truth to the fact that yeah, okay, cool, obviously the more mainstream kind of easier-to-grasp-onto dance music has become popular, but that holds true with almost any genre. It wasn’t like the Sex Pistols hit the radio. It was poppier versions of that is what hit. It’s never, like, the true core stuff.”

– Kaskade

Doing it like a woman possessed…

Dear Diary,

I love my big brother. I don’t talk about him a lot in my Diary entries (mainly because he asked me not to 😅), but he is hands down the most cherished person on the planet to me. We’ve been through so much, things that only a handful of people (and, well, my Patreon subscribers) have any idea about. I honestly feel that he is the only one who truly understands me; who truly accepts me for who I am.

He is the person responsible for making me who I am today.

In fact, it was his encouragement that led me to put my head down and write like my life depended on it this week, resulting in my writing 1,954 words today coupled with hours of studying the Amish community, and the day before yesterday bleeding out 3,625. I would have written more today, but he literally walked into my room, picked me up from my chair, and threw me on the couch so we could watch some movies together. I was irate at first, because I had things I really wanted to do writing-wise, but as he refused to let me get up I softened and realized exactly what – and why – he was doing what he was: I had not left my room in days, and he really missed spending time with me.

Amusing side note: I caught a glimpse of myself in the hallway mirror as we passed, and I looked like a wildebeest. 😳 Eyes bloodshot, hair unkempt, a slight twitch in my right eye. All the result of being on a weeklong writing binge.

Once I realized why he did what he did I melted into him, cuddling him like my life depended on it, and we spent the entire rest of the day watching movie after movie after movie. Not that I really cared what the fuck we watched at that point, I just wanted to spend time with him. It dawned on me that we hadn’t done this in forever, as he has a hella work schedule/personal life and I’m just a writing fiend (coupled with an on again/off again affair with my ex, Rebecca). In fact, the last time we did something like this had been months ago. Months. That is way too fucking long.

It won’t happen again.

Learn from my mistake, if you can. If you have someone in your life that is nudging you to spend time with them, listen. Real Life can get hectic, yes, but not everyone is like my brother: instead of physically picking your little ass up and throwing you on the couch, they might just… fade away. Which is horrifying, because so few people actually care enough to want our time for the right reasons. You should cherish the ones that do.

Which is why I’m taking the weekend off the internet in general and following my own advice.

I put a post on social media the other day, and it seems appropriate to share it again now:

Take this with you today: just for a moment, ignore all the online bullshit. Wipe away the news. Forget your problems, both financial and personal.

YOU ARE ALIVE.

And you matter. Your life matters. People appreciate, respect, and love you.

I love you.

✌

#Alexa

P.S: Erotic Urban Legends: That’s What Friends Are For is available for December 1st Preorder, so go snag yourself a copy!

If one is going to change the definition of marriage to be, quote, ‘same sex,’ then there is absolutely no valid argument constitutionally or rhetorically you can make against multiple people getting married. These are radical social changes.

– Gary Bauer

Beefing with Patreon…

Dear Diary,

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted, and I’m sorry about that, but honestly, Nephilim has been downright dominating my life. And when I say completely, I mean completely. I’ve been writing it like a woman possessed, which I suppose I am, though I’ve also been working on other projects as well during breaks. The problem I have is that I get so focused and intense that I tend to go through mini burnouts, so every once in a while, I need to kind of step back and do something else for a bit before I jump back on ship. Like, play World of Final Fantasy with Anne (at gunpoint). Or spend time with Rebecca, who came over for the Logan Paul VS KSI fight… and hasn’t really left. And watch American Horror Story on Netflix. Cause that show is fucking addicting. 😳

I also released Interview with A Werewolf, compiled Erotic Urban Legends Volume 1 (which is scheduled to be released January 2020), sent Erotic Urban Legends: Broken Wings (A Nephilim Story) to my Beta Reader Hit Squad, and rough drafted Voyeur: Season 2, Episode 3. Oh, and I also had a knock down drag out fight with Patreon, who temporarily suspended my account until I deleted all 150+ of my Diary entries. Because they were public. And apparently too hardcore for the casual viewer. Here’s my email to them, in full:

So this is what I get for reaching out to ask you guys a question: I apparently put myself on your radar and got my account suspended. Trust me, I won’t make the same mistake twice.

Just for the record, these posts that you deemed “too adult” for Patreon are also publicly available on my website, Blogger, Wattpad, Goodreads, Tumblr, Amazon, Facebook, Google +, and Twitter. And no one except you said they were inappropriate.

Regardless.

I have complied with your wishes and deleted all 154 Public Posts. Please reinstate my account so I can inform my subscribers what happened, and then forward me to one of your supervisors so I can talk with them before I go public on social media.

Thank you.

Yeah, I know, it’s a bit snarky, but they started it. All because I reached out to customer service with an innocent question. If I learned anything from this, it’s: DO NOT CONTACT PATREON CUSTOMER SERVICE! The last thing you want is to be on their radar! They ended up having another customer service representative contact me to try and resolve the issue, but I just dropped it and didn’t respond. My work is more important than a back and forth with Patreonites.

Maybe I’m a bit too confrontive for my own good sometimes. I dunno.

Oh! By the way, a few of my titles are on sale! They are enlisted in the Kindle Countdown thingy, which means they are cheapest now, but through the next seven days they gradually return to normal price. Here’s the full list:

• The Secret Life of Miel https://buff.ly/2OTxjCR
• Nephilim: Daybreak https://buff.ly/2N7OAYA
• Girl Fight https://buff.ly/2M1sxWH
• Quickies: Cumpilation (Volume 1) https://buff.ly/2GeaB4h
• Quickies: Cumpilation (Volume 2) https://buff.ly/2JoYKFi

Time to jump in a bath and soak my brain for a bit – I have another full day of writing tomorrow, where I plan on finishing the Voyeur episode I’m working on and get back to Nephilim: Prisoner.

I’m really going to work on writing these entries more often, as I need the release – I’m too emo to keep everything bottled up for too long! 😅

Anyway, thank you for reading, my loves.

Seriously.

#Alexa

“The evolution of sex is the hardest problem in evolutionary biology.”

– John Maynard Smith