Storytime…

Dear Diary,

I have three things to write about this Diary entry: a writing progress report, a personal update, and a situation that embarrassed the living hell out of me.

I’ll start with the writing progress report: I’ve done tons of it. My main focus is still on Nephilim: Prisoner, the sequel to Nephilim: Daybreak, though I’m also fluttering through two other projects during my downtime: Erotic Urban Legends: The Casting Couch (a story featuring one of my favorite Naughty Cheerleader’s as the main character: Shae, the quiet redhead. Such an awesome story so far) and The Wencher: Blood & Sacrifice. So much fun!

On a personal update front, I’ve been spending a lot more time with my brother lately, making sure I keep Anne by my side. I’ve even (albeit slowly) started having friends over… it’s been nice to take a break from writing, and the pandemic, and just let loose and live a little. I’m an incredibly happy little loli. 😊

Now about the situation that embarrassed the hell out of me. So. Anne and I bought a vibrator because I figured it was time for another sex toy review on Patreon. IT IS SO AWESOME. Anyway, I was actually in the middle of, ah, ‘using it’ when my brother came over, and I barely had time to get dressed and toss it on the bed. Anyway, he came in, gave me his typical massive bear hug, and went to give Anne a hug too when he spotted the vibrator. He said something to the extent of ‘oh yeah, I’ve been meaning to get one of these,’ and proceeded to use it to massage his left calf (he had, apparently, pulled a muscle working out). He said it was a great massager and wanted to know where I got it.

The entire time he was massaging his leg, Anne was barely keeping it together, enjoying the shit out of the situation just a little too much, while I was trying hard to not pass out from embarrassment.

Anyway, I told him to save his money because the ‘massager’ was mine, and he asked if I could use it on his leg before we went to bed that night.

So, long story short, he has a new personal favorite ‘massager.’ 😶😭

When he ended up leaving, Anne looked at me and just exploded in laughter.

I’m still blushing. And dreading the moment he asks me to massage his calf.

Like I said. Three things.

I hate my life sometimes. 😂

I love you all.

Stay safe!

#Alexa

 

💡 The More You Know 💡

In 1968, a convention of beggars in Dacca, India, passed a resolution demanding that “the minimum amount of alms be fixed at 15 paisa (three cents).” The convention also demanded that the interval between when a person hears a knock at his front door and when he offers alms should not exceed 45 seconds.

 

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Being a naked fidget spinner

Dear Diary,

I went to bed last night and was so restless that I probably resembled a fidget spinner as I twirled around on my bed, flipping through position after position trying to get comfortable. I was all over that motherfucker. Luckily, I was in bed alone. Otherwise, someone would have ended up on the floor. 😅 It was obvious to me after an hour that I wasn’t going to be able to go to sleep, so I decided to be productive and use my insomnia to my advantage.

So, I slithered my naked ass (naked comment inserted exclusively for Selina 😏) over to the computer, briefly browsed through my task list for the day, and then proceeded to merc the shit out of everything on it. Long story short? By 6AM, everything I had planned to do throughout the day was complete.

Highlights: I finished flushing out my account on LibraryThing, completed the rough draft of Voyeur: Season 1 Episode 5 (Though honestly, I’m not happy with it yet. But then, it is a rough draft.), finally triumphed over Amazon in the battle over the paperback cover of When Daddy Was Away, and completely finished and compiled Interview With A Werewolf, which will be released September 1st (Unless you happen to be Ronnie, the VIP Patreon who requested the story. He has it in his hands now. 😜)

And then fielded an interesting question that gave me a bit of a pause on Facebook. A reader messaged me telling me she was a fan of mine (I really hate that word) and was shocked when I responded and even talked to her for a bit. She said she had written to other celebrities in the past (I quickly corrected her. I am not a celebrity! 😅) and never received a response from any of them.

The question she asked me was why I was so receptive and responsive to people.

My knee-jerk answer was something akin to “Why wouldn’t I be?” but I stopped and decided to think a bit deeper before I responded. After contemplating for a bit, I replied:

“Because we have a society built on idolization, and it shouldn’t be. We’re all humans. Celebrity is a man-made concept, and as such has little intrinsic value. Basically, I’m approachable because I truly believe that I’m no one special – I’m just someone who loves to write. Period. The last thing I want is someone looking up to me or turning me into some sort of metahuman. Be your own role-model. If I’m not part of the solution, I’m indubitably part of the problem, ya know? 😊”

She apparently liked my answer. I’m glad. It was the truth.

Anyway, I’m going to bed early, loves.

I’ll see all of you in the morning.

Thank you for reading. 💖

#Alexa

💡 The More You Know 💡

When Leo Tolstoy and his brother were children, they created a club with a peculiar, almost impossible initiation ceremony. In order to become a member, one had to stand in a corner for a half an hour and not think of anything white.

Why I was twitching and an epic resting bitch face

Dear Diary,

I had no idea how tightly I was wound up until I took the day off and was practically forced to unwind. Just relaxing alone was amazing, but spending the majority of the day with Rebecca made it so much better. It was like I exhaled a breath I didn’t even know I was holding.

I definitely need to take days off more often, at least a few times a month.

To be honest, though, it wasn’t pretty at first. 😅 I kept trying to sneak in work things, and Anne kept getting on my case as a result. This happened for over an hour. I finally just gave up and tried to enjoy myself and not think about anything work-related. I really started to twitch when I received an email from Amazon saying I need to correct like four different things for the paperback version of When Daddy Was Away before they can approve it for sale. Anne practically had to tackle me away from the computer. 😆

I’m so glad she did. I only did two responsible things today: go grocery shopping with Anne to get her place stocked back up, and not slap the shit out of our cashier, who had the most epic resting bitch face I have ever seen. I should have taken a picture of it for this entry. Is that against the law I wonder? 🤔 If I find out it isn’t motherfuckers are going to be in trouble. 😁

Anyway, Anne rented Pitch Perfect 3 from Redbox and is bouncing around behind me waiting to watch it, so I’ll end this entry here.

Before I go: learn from my mistakes. No matter how passionate you are about something, or how many things you absolutely have to do, just drop everything sometimes and spend some time with someone you care about. You won’t regret it. Either will they. Whatever it is you were doing or have to do will still be there waiting. Can you say the same thing about your loved ones?

#Alexa

💡 The More You Know 💡

The children’s game “Ring Around the Rosey” and the words that accompany it (“Ring around the rowy, pocket full of posy, ashes, ashes, all fall down”) derive from the medieval practice of scattering rose petals in a circle around one’s bed (“ring around the rosy”) and carrying small bouquets (“pocket full of posy”) as protection against the aromas created by the disease and decay of the Black Plague (“all fall down”).

Fuck Amazon. And whether or not to send noods.

Dear Diary,

The entire theme of my day has to be fuck Amazon. It seems like every spare second of my day has been taken up going back and forth with them over the motherfucking cover for the paperback version of Good Girls Gone Bad, which they swear is either 1) too small or 2) too big. No matter how I resize it or how correct it looks in their previewer, they keep alternating their complaints.

It’s genuinely fucking ridiculous. I should have just left it the way it was.

What’s even more maddening is no matter what I say to them, they just send form letter after form letter, like it’s some kind of automated machine cranking out responses with little to no human interaction. Now that I think about it, that might actually be the case, especially considering the news story that came across my feed this morning about Amazon customers saying they’ve been mysteriously locked out of their accounts — and they have no idea why.

Not that Facebook seems to be doing much better.

But I digress.

Even though I am (at this writing) still going back and forth with Amazon and my bestie is determined to distract me by sending provocative pics of herself while she’s at work (which I almost reposted just to fuck with her), I did manage to completely finish the rough draft of Naughty Professor (you can read it here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/naughty-rough-18013255) and almost complete the revision of When Daddy Was Away. I even managed to dabble a bit in the revised version of Nephilim: Daybreak. It was a good, productive day, Amazon and bestie noods notwithstanding.

Now. To drink or not to drink. That is the motherfucking question…

Liver: Not to drink.

Me: What the fuck? Since when did you start talking?

Liver: Drinking is harmful to your health. What’s the point of all that working out if you’re just going to drink?

Me: Bitch shut up. I let you make it these past couple weeks; you have it coming. Besides, you know I’m trying to write a Diary entry here, right? We can hash this out later.

Liver: I’ll send your noods.

Me: Motherfucker, if I get drunk enough, I’ll send my own noods. And maybe even my vidz.

Liver: …

Me: That’s what I thought. Checkmate, bitch. ✊

#Alexa

“It’s wonderful to be in love. And it’s definitely wonderful to cuddle and have sex and get to experience life with somebody. But it’s OK if you don’t find him and you’re 24. You can find it someday.”

– Leighton Meester

💌 A trio of good emails, and a new audiobook! 🎵

Today was the day of emails. I received several, and all seemed to contain good news.

Email #1 (Audiobook News)

The audiobook version of Cramming Sis! Again! is complete, and as soon as Audible approves my narrators work, it will be live. They shouldn’t have any problems with it, as she did a fantastic job with it, so I’m expecting it to get their stamp of approval reasonably quickly.

Email #2 (Romance Package!)

Dear Alexa Nichols,

Nephilim: Daybreak is now available to listeners through the Audible Romance Package.

This distribution channel gives Romance Package subscribers unlimited access to thousands of romance audiobooks including yours, while you get paid each time Romance Package Listeners select and listen to your audiobook. Earn each time Audible Romance Listeners select and listen to your audiobook. Get paid for the minutes listened each month based on your share of total minutes listened.

Your earnings for audiobooks accessed in the Romance Package will be reported and paid on a quarterly basis.

Learn More About the Program

We can’t wait to hear your audiobook,

The ACX Team

Email #3 (Phi Beta Pie’s Audiobook)

Hello Alexa,

Thank you for contacting ACX.

I apologize for the delay in response. We’ve recently experienced an increase in volume and have been working to address each inquiry in the order it was received. Thank you for your patience!

I’m sorry to hear you were unable to locate your title, Phi Beta Pie, on the Amazon.com website. We’ve received similar reports of other affected titles. Our teams have been made aware of this issue and are working to address this and correct it as soon as possible.

I have added your title to the list of affected audiobooks and we will be notifying you directly as soon as this issue is resolved. Once again, we appreciate your patience while our teams investigate this.

If we can help with anything else, please let us know. You can reach us by email or phone at 1-888-396-6347. We are available Monday through Thursday, 9am to 7pm Eastern. Have a great day!

All the best,

Jessica

ACX Client Support

Not a bad set of emails to open up this morning. I was about to write to wake up to, but honestly, I haven’t been to sleep yet. Anne spent the night at my place, and for the longest time, I just laid in bed staring at the ceiling and playing with her earlobes (it’s a thing I do, don’t judge). I eventually decided to just get out of bed and write, proceeding to work on Interview With A Werewolf for the next six hours and ultimately finishing its green revision. Which means Monday I’ll put it through its final grammar checking and editing phases and compile it into a book, completely finishing it. Assuming I don’t go apeshit over the weekend thinking of even more things to add to it like I did yesterday. 😅

I spent another hour working on Knocking Up The MILF, and then put writing to the side so I could assassinate some author tasks.

It’s been a busy day.

And I’m about to collapse.

Which means heading to bed early. On a Friday. Growing old sucks. 😳

Know what doesn’t suck? You. Because you took time out of your day to read about my life, and that means a lot to me. So thank you.

I love my Alexaliens.

All of you.

😴