Dear Diary,
I learned a long time ago that the thing you love most can kill you if you let it. Back when I first started writing, I didn’t take it very seriously: I just sat down and repeatedly slapped the keyboard, letting my kinky imagination have free reign with little regard to plot, character development, or plot twists. You can tell this from books like No, Daddy! I’m Not Mommy!, Cramming Sis!, and Please Don’t Get Me Pregnant!. They were the first books I wrote, and you can tell by reading them how few fucks I had to give. I wasn’t taking my writing career seriously, which showed in my work. Sure, they were fun to write, but they had about as much substance as a handful of lettuce.
They sold. Well. This prompted me to try and elevate my craft, to try and write kinkier, more elaborate stories. I became obsessed with being the best writer I could, so I scoured the internet eagerly looking for any and all advice I could find. I attempted to follow everything I found, even going so far as to snag a copy of Stephen King’s On Writing, which is a fantastic book, and devouring everything I found with a hunger usually reserved for cheese fries at Snuffer’s.
Somewhere along the way, however, I quit having fun. Writing became more of a job than a fun little distraction, and I was taking things so seriously that I repeatedly started burning out. So, I decided the best thing to do was step away from writing for a bit. After a while I would return reinvigorated, only to feel the urge to break quickly returning. I began immersing myself in other hobbies, such as watching anime, reading manga, and playing video games. When I decided to write, it felt forced, like working out sometimes feels when you’re just not feeling it.
Maybe I wasn’t meant to be a writer. I wondered to myself. I mean, my command of the English language isn’t exactly on par with other famous authors. I have a conversational writing style, and I actively try to avoid writing over someone’s head… whereas some authors I read have me pulling out a dictionary every few pages. It almost seems like they’re trying to impress readers with their vocabulary knowledge. Should that really be your goal when you write, however? Shouldn’t the story matter most? You know, trying to coax the reader to immerse themselves in your carefully crafted world?
Back on track.
Even though I took a bit of a sabbatical from writing, I continuously found myself jotting down story ideas. Instead of deep, immersive plots and plot twists, they were more fun and quick little ditties that made me remember the tales I wove when I first started writing. When I found myself actually writing them and tearing myself away because I started feeling guilty that I wasn’t working on my more serious works, I knew something was wrong with the writing habits I had adopted.
I took a long, hard look at my authoring and then decided to just relax. I set goals, yes, but tackle the actual creative writing only when I feel inspired to. Don’t treat it as a job, but instead as a passion.
Damn, did that paradigm shift ultimately change who I am as an author!
I now proudly consider myself a writing beast. I’ve filled all my releases until 2027 and still have extra stories coming out exclusively for Subscribestar members. Life is good. However, I know there are many lessons I need to learn and many ways I still need to improve as an author.
I look forward to the road ahead…
#Alexaliens
“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.”
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(Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay)
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