Anne’s mouth. 😲

Dear Diary,

It is fucking hot outside, people! I mean, offensively hot! I didn’t realize just how hot it got during the day (I’m usually indoors working) but I had to take Anne to the dentist (34 root canals) and damn. 😖

And to make matters worse: I couldn’t get that motherfucking song The Humpty Dance out of my head the entire time.

I did manage to get quite a few things done today on the author front however (probably because I woke up at 4:44AM) such as completely finishing Voyeur’s Season 1 Collection (scheduled to be released in November unless you’re a member of my Patreon clique) and re-reading Nephilim: Daybreak in preparation for starting Nephilim: Prisoner. So much I forgot about…which is why I’m staying on this damn series until it’s finished. And I’m going to seriously think twice before I start another series like this again. 😆

Voyeur doesn’t count, of course. That’s my passion project.

So that’s been my day in a nutshell, dear diary: working, holding Anne’s hand while she got mauled by the dentist, and (as always) terrorizing social media.

In short: a beautiful day.

Goodnight, my peeps.

I love you guys.

Always.

#Alexa

P.S.: If you were wondering about the origin of Butt Naked Sundays (and what my big brothers reaction to it is), your wish has been fulfilled: https://www.patreon.com/posts/19154449 . You’re welcome. 😊

“Yet, if the most frequent sex and apparently the best sex is that between married partners who are faithful to one another, is there not a hint that affection might be an important aspect of sex? Even love?”

– Andrew Greeley

I’m almost there!

Dear Diary,

I had an impressively productive day today. Not only did I completely finish Quickies Cumpilation Volume 3, (If you haven’t picked up volumes one and two, you really should. Good stuff.) but I also published another collection of short stories under a pen name. Patreon subscribers: be on the lookout for it soon.

So yeah. I’m pretty proud of myself.

Especially since this means all I have left is to finish Voyeur Season 1 Collection, and then I get to dive into the Nephilim series again in earnest – something I’m really excited about. I’ll also be getting the cover for Nephilim: Daybreak redid and editing the innards again to make sure everything is up to snuff. After that though? Nephilim: Prisoner! And then the rest of the Nephilim series. I might take a few brief breaks to churn out another episode of Voyeur, but besides that, it’s all Nephilim all the time until all five books are complete.

And then? A brief pit-stop to finish a few more books I already have rough drafts for, then over to my Loliverse! (Which spawned from the novella Killer Lolis, in case you’re just now tuning in).

I really love being a writer! 🤗

Topic switch.

While I was compiling this Quickies Cumpilation, I was watching (making fun of) Anne’s shows with her: Teen Mom 2, Young and Pregnant, Love & Hip Hop, etc. on the MTV/VH1 apps (which I have on my tablet and stream to her television). And for some reason, every commercial that popped up was from Nigeria. Let me tell you, they have some strange commercials. 😅 And then a commercial popped up for a YouTube video. A YouTube video! Since when in the fuck did they start putting out commercials for YouTube videos?!

Loved it. It definitely kept me entertained while I worked.

Anyway, off to Skyrim. I have sweetrolls to steal and knees to shoot. 🍰

#Alexa

💡 The More You Know 💡

Alligators have erections for 100% of their lifetime.

Getting ahead of myself

Dear Diary,

So, I have this book I’m writing, The Siren’s Song, about an orphan named Arielle that grew up with strange gifts. She lives in a small town very few people know about and is growing tired and frustrated with not only her loneliness but with her body’s unquenched yearnings.

She decides to use her abilities, her magic, to do something about it.

She was not expecting what resulted…

Here’s a little poem I made up and placed in the book that kind of neatly sums up her predicament:

As above and so below,

In peace of mind and perfect trust.

By power of three, so mote it be,

In perfect love and perfect lust.

The story is getting… intense. I started it out initially as a basic sexy story involving a siren and two men, but, well, you know me. I can’t write a basic fuck-book to save my life. I started adding tiny details here and there, and then conversations sprung up, and situations kind of just happened… and before you knew it, it somehow morphed into a supernatural romance between two jealous and conflicting brothers while I wasn’t looking.

And I’m not done.

😳

I know I’m kind of getting ahead of myself, but I’m beginning to really like this Arielle chick and can easily see writing about her more when I finish the Nephilim series (which is what’s scheduled after I finish this story). The Siren’s Song should be completed within two to three days, after which I’m sending it off to my Beta Reader Hit Squad, and then I’m taking a brief break while they read it. During this time, I’ll probably organize and prepare my notes to dive back into the Nephilim universe, though I’m considering also knocking off the first episode of Voyeur’s season two first. But that’s it.

Of course, this means if you haven’t yet read Nephilim: Daybreak, you really should.

I cannot wait to write Nephilim: Prisoner. It’s haunting me. 👻

Hopefully, it will haunt you, too…

#Alexa

💡 The More You Know 💡

Female hyenas have clitorises that extend seven inches out of their bodies and serve as pseudopenises as well as the birth canal.

Hitting the ground running

Dear Diary,

It felt absolutely wondrous to jump back into the daily routine of writing. And I finished a lot of it, knocking out the yellow revision of Knocking Up The MILF, working on The Siren’s Song for a bit, and – finally – dived headfirst into Nephilim: Prisoner, the sequel to Nephilim: Daybreak. It felt so good to start it. Tomorrow cannot come quick enough so I can continue.

I also received some fantastic news from the narrator I hired to do the audiobook version of The Qedesha’s Handmaiden. She just uploaded chapters 6,7, and 8, and is currently working on 9,10, and the epilogue now. Which means in the next day or two, she’ll be completely finished. 🙌

I can’t wait!

Also, if you’re a member of my Patreon and want to check out the rough draft of Voyeur Season 1, Episode 5, you can do so here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/18358393. While you’re there, you can also check out my recent post, “Why I don’t use publishing houses,” found here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/18359553.

Yes, I hit the ground running today!

Now if I can just quit sneezing uncontrollably, my day would be phenomenal! 😅

Until tomorrow, my loves…

#Alexa

💡 The More You Know 💡

Pigs orgasm for 30 minutes. 😳

Fuck Amazon. And whether or not to send noods.

Dear Diary,

The entire theme of my day has to be fuck Amazon. It seems like every spare second of my day has been taken up going back and forth with them over the motherfucking cover for the paperback version of Good Girls Gone Bad, which they swear is either 1) too small or 2) too big. No matter how I resize it or how correct it looks in their previewer, they keep alternating their complaints.

It’s genuinely fucking ridiculous. I should have just left it the way it was.

What’s even more maddening is no matter what I say to them, they just send form letter after form letter, like it’s some kind of automated machine cranking out responses with little to no human interaction. Now that I think about it, that might actually be the case, especially considering the news story that came across my feed this morning about Amazon customers saying they’ve been mysteriously locked out of their accounts — and they have no idea why.

Not that Facebook seems to be doing much better.

But I digress.

Even though I am (at this writing) still going back and forth with Amazon and my bestie is determined to distract me by sending provocative pics of herself while she’s at work (which I almost reposted just to fuck with her), I did manage to completely finish the rough draft of Naughty Professor (you can read it here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/naughty-rough-18013255) and almost complete the revision of When Daddy Was Away. I even managed to dabble a bit in the revised version of Nephilim: Daybreak. It was a good, productive day, Amazon and bestie noods notwithstanding.

Now. To drink or not to drink. That is the motherfucking question…

Liver: Not to drink.

Me: What the fuck? Since when did you start talking?

Liver: Drinking is harmful to your health. What’s the point of all that working out if you’re just going to drink?

Me: Bitch shut up. I let you make it these past couple weeks; you have it coming. Besides, you know I’m trying to write a Diary entry here, right? We can hash this out later.

Liver: I’ll send your noods.

Me: Motherfucker, if I get drunk enough, I’ll send my own noods. And maybe even my vidz.

Liver: …

Me: That’s what I thought. Checkmate, bitch. ✊

#Alexa

“It’s wonderful to be in love. And it’s definitely wonderful to cuddle and have sex and get to experience life with somebody. But it’s OK if you don’t find him and you’re 24. You can find it someday.”

– Leighton Meester

What dat mouf do?!

Dear Diary,

Anne is hostile at the moment. I spent almost all day at the dentist with her because we got tired of waiting for word back from the first place we went to, only to be told that she has something like three dozen things wrong with her mouth that need to be fixed.

She is in for so much pain.

My heart goes out to her.

To make matters worse, I keep harassing her by asking what dat mouf do, and she is about ready to kill me. 😅

She’s not the only one in agony, however: I was only able to write for a few hours today! I didn’t even get to finish Naughty Professor yet, and I was almost positive I would be able to at least pull that off. I did manage to do a few things before we had to go, however, such as talking with several narrators about the audiobook version of Good Girls Gone Bad and getting a good chunk of work done on the revised versions of When Daddy Was Away and Nephilim: Daybreak (in preparation for continuing the series).

Oh, and a note: while the paperback version of Good Girls Gone Bad is finished and available for purchase, please don’t buy it until the changes I fixed go into play tomorrow. I want it perfect for you guys, and the description and cover art are a bit off. I changed it already, but the changes won’t actually go live until tomorrow, so…

Anyway, I’m going to read for a bit and then fling myself in the shower. In case your curious, my current book is Katie’s Story, a really fucked up tale of child sex abuse that makes me hostile to read. And brings up a lot of memories…

Anyway, goodnight for now, loves.

Thank you for reading.

Seriously.

#Alexa

“Sex, sexual dynamics and how we define our sexuality, is one of the major deals in everyone’s life.”

– Molly Parker

💌 A trio of good emails, and a new audiobook! 🎵

Today was the day of emails. I received several, and all seemed to contain good news.

Email #1 (Audiobook News)

The audiobook version of Cramming Sis! Again! is complete, and as soon as Audible approves my narrators work, it will be live. They shouldn’t have any problems with it, as she did a fantastic job with it, so I’m expecting it to get their stamp of approval reasonably quickly.

Email #2 (Romance Package!)

Dear Alexa Nichols,

Nephilim: Daybreak is now available to listeners through the Audible Romance Package.

This distribution channel gives Romance Package subscribers unlimited access to thousands of romance audiobooks including yours, while you get paid each time Romance Package Listeners select and listen to your audiobook. Earn each time Audible Romance Listeners select and listen to your audiobook. Get paid for the minutes listened each month based on your share of total minutes listened.

Your earnings for audiobooks accessed in the Romance Package will be reported and paid on a quarterly basis.

Learn More About the Program

We can’t wait to hear your audiobook,

The ACX Team

Email #3 (Phi Beta Pie’s Audiobook)

Hello Alexa,

Thank you for contacting ACX.

I apologize for the delay in response. We’ve recently experienced an increase in volume and have been working to address each inquiry in the order it was received. Thank you for your patience!

I’m sorry to hear you were unable to locate your title, Phi Beta Pie, on the Amazon.com website. We’ve received similar reports of other affected titles. Our teams have been made aware of this issue and are working to address this and correct it as soon as possible.

I have added your title to the list of affected audiobooks and we will be notifying you directly as soon as this issue is resolved. Once again, we appreciate your patience while our teams investigate this.

If we can help with anything else, please let us know. You can reach us by email or phone at 1-888-396-6347. We are available Monday through Thursday, 9am to 7pm Eastern. Have a great day!

All the best,

Jessica

ACX Client Support

Not a bad set of emails to open up this morning. I was about to write to wake up to, but honestly, I haven’t been to sleep yet. Anne spent the night at my place, and for the longest time, I just laid in bed staring at the ceiling and playing with her earlobes (it’s a thing I do, don’t judge). I eventually decided to just get out of bed and write, proceeding to work on Interview With A Werewolf for the next six hours and ultimately finishing its green revision. Which means Monday I’ll put it through its final grammar checking and editing phases and compile it into a book, completely finishing it. Assuming I don’t go apeshit over the weekend thinking of even more things to add to it like I did yesterday. 😅

I spent another hour working on Knocking Up The MILF, and then put writing to the side so I could assassinate some author tasks.

It’s been a busy day.

And I’m about to collapse.

Which means heading to bed early. On a Friday. Growing old sucks. 😳

Know what doesn’t suck? You. Because you took time out of your day to read about my life, and that means a lot to me. So thank you.

I love my Alexaliens.

All of you.

😴