The State of the Alexa…

Dear Diary,

I know I haven’t written in my Diary for a while now, but boy do I have reasons. Said reasons start with a migraine that attacked me last Friday and went all through the weekend, and then Anne got sick and passed her myriad diseases on to me, and then I somehow managed to cut the tip of my index finger (which is absolutely crucial for writing apparently). And then, when I finally started feeling human, I threw myself into playing catch up with all the author (and personal) tasks that piled up while I was out, leaving little time or desire to write in my Diary.

Yeah, things have been hectic.

Writing-wise too. I’ve been focusing on the last part of the last revision of Family Values, a story featuring Mariah (from Naughty Cheerleaders fame) as the main character. And, I am proud to announce, I am finally happy with the way it’s going! It took a while because I kept changing things around, but the way it is now – I like it. I had to simplify it quite a bit because it was starting to feel verbally congested, streamline it some, polish the hell out of it, give it some head, and bam: it’s now acting the way I want I to.

Story of my life.

Anyway, hopefully all of you are preparing to have the Thanksgiving of your lives tomorrow. Me? I’ll be staying home with my big brother, Anne, Rebecca, and the rest of the syndicate trying to not write and just enjoy the holiday.

And playing Skyrim, of course.

Always Skyrim.

I love you.

All of you.

Thank you for reading…

#Alexa

“It is very, very difficult for a playwright to write a scene in which a young man has his first deep experience of sex with a girl whom he found immensely attractive, is fully satisfied by this event and gets up and blinds a lot of horses.”

– Peter Shaffer

Alexa: Sandwich Maker! 🥪

Dear Diary,

What many of you might not know about me is that I’m a bonafide health nut. This stems from being the exact opposite for the first half of my life and having to deal with the consequences of that lifestyle choice. I’m very strict on myself, especially with what I eat, when I eat it, and how often/long I work out. Most of the time, at least.

Until Debauchery Day, that is.

Every Saturday I kind of cut loose, ignoring all the strict rules I enforce upon myself and basically just do and eat whatever I want. No working out, eating whatever I feel like (like a souped-up cappuccino, a double shot of coffee, and a pint of ice cream – all at the same time) and basically just being, you know, slovenly. I even wear sweatpants. 😳

Of course, I usually suffer the consequences for this on Sunday, which I use to recover from my abuse, but that’s not the point.

The point is this: during this time of self-inflicted torture, I kind of mentally just cut loose and do things I usually wouldn’t do.

Like gamble.

During this past Saturday my brother and I were watching Celebrity Ninja Warrior on Hulu, and I made a bet with him concerning one of the contestants, WWE superstar Nikky Bella: I bet that she would clear the entire track, cause, you know, Girl Power motherfucker. He took me up on the bet, we set the stakes, and I watched intently as my girl started through the course.

She failed on the first obstacle. 🙄

I am now my brother’s official sandwich maker for a week. Seven fucking days. And he has not given me any kind of a break either.

In other life-highlights, my girlfriend Rebecca told me I need butt implants. 😭 She spent the night yesterday, see, and this morning I went through my normal ritual of writing for a handful of hours, after which I got up and walked around for a bit to get circulation back in my legs. I mused out loud that a pillow might make my chair more comfortable which caused Rebecca to chime in with “nah, you just need to grow a butt.”

You can almost feel the love, can’t you?

So that’s been my life this past couple of days: writing, more writing, abusing my body, and sandwich making. Oh, and thinking of ways to score on my girlfriend for giving me a butt complex. Fascinating life I have, right? 😅

Anyway, I love you guys.

I really do.

Thank you for reading, my loves…

#Alexa

P.S.: Voyeur Season 2, Episode 1 is now available for February 1st preorder! Snag a copy here: https://buff.ly/2AOWLVE

“Although people often equate them, glamour is not the same as beauty, stylishness, luxury, celebrity, or sex appeal. It is not limited to fashion or film; nor is it intrinsically feminine. It is not a collection of aesthetic markers – a style, as fashion and design use the word.”

– Virginia Postrel

Why I’m scared of my own shadow…

Dear Diary,

I know some of you may feel like I’ve been neglecting you. My email responses have been sparse, my social media presence has been bare bones, and the frequency of my Diary posts suck ass. I’m actually thinking about going back to a daily post, but I’m not sure how interesting that would be to people. I’ve been trying to focus more on quality than quantity lately, but the reality is this was never intended to be a blog or anything – this was supposed to be my online digital diary, open for all to see. Because openness rocks. Most of the time. Anyway, the reason my social skills have sucked this week is that I have been writing my skinny white ass off. Mainly on this story:

It’s one of my Erotic Urban Legends that I make for my Patreon members. My original idea was to just write a free-flowing horror story, to not even use an outline or anything, and to keep it short – like under 2,500 words or so.

Fast forward two fucking weeks. 😑

It currently sits at 16,000 words and is (finally) in its final stages of revision! I swear, this fucking story has consumed my life. And not entirely in a good way. Ever since I started writing it I’ve been having nightmares, and being alone has started to creep me out. And don’t even get me talking about looking in mirrors when no one else is around.

It’s not pretty.

Is it bad that I’m scaring myself with my own story?! I feel like I’m scared of my own shadow anymore. Like, I have to have people around me, or I start to freak. What’s really bad is after I finish this I’m bopping back to the final revisions of Family Values, another scary story. And then Voyeur: Season 2, Episode 4, which is currently at a dystopian The Handmaid’s Tale type of scenario. After that, I’m finishing up the rough draft of Nephilim: Prisoner. It’s like one scary story after another! 😭

I think I need to balance this shit out with some comedy or something. Maybe a quick funny Phi Beta Piekind of thing, I dunno. Suggestions? Maybe I’ll shoot something out this weekend. Which means direct message me with ideas, motherfuckers! 😅

Until then: Skyrim time. So much Skyrim time…

#Alexa

“Understand that sexuality is as wide as the sea. Understand that your morality is not law. Understand that we are you. Understand that if we decide to have sex whether safe, safer, or unsafe, it is our decision and you have no rights in our lovemaking.”

– Derek Jarman