Anne’s boobies, comfortable ignorance, and being a Terminator!

Dear Diary,

So a few days ago, I was sitting next to Anne while she was going through yet another chemo treatment, and, for some reason, I was more insightful (and emo) than usual. I had my laptop out with the intent to work but found myself having a difficult time concentrating. So, I sent out the following tweet:

 

 

I meant every word of it. The randomness and harshness of Life can truly be terrifying if you think about it too long. I mean, we only have so long on this earth, you know? And none of us knows when our time is up. It’s something I think about often, and is my one genuine fear: Death.

No, I’m not a Christian or any other religion. I have no idea why we’re here, where we’re going when we die, or where we came from. I am comfortably ignorant if that makes any sense. This is why Death gets to me sometimes. Fear of the unknown. Fear of not existing. One of my favorite expressions by Andrew Smith is, “People fear what they don’t understand and hate what they can’t conquer.” I can honestly say I both Fear and Hate Death. Logically I understand that all things must die, and I understand the benefits and logistics of this happening, but tell my heart that. Tell my heart that the woman I’m sitting next to might not be here tomorrow if she loses this fight, that she will simply not exist anymore.

And then tell me how that will be a good thing.

I mean, Anne’s not only one of my best friends, but I’ve known the girl for a little over 18 years. We’ve been through a lot together—more than I will ever publicly admit. Initially, when we found out she had breast cancer (about three months ago), I didn’t want to share the news with anyone, even though she said she didn’t mind. I relaxed a little and talked to my Patreon members about it, and it felt good. Refreshing, if that makes any sense.

Maybe I need to open up and talk about things more often. I dunno. That’s not something I usually do; in fact, when walloped by Life, I tend to clam up and get ridiculously analytical, almost machine-like in my focus to beat whatever it is that’s going against me. I call it Terminator mode. It’s served me well through the years. Except with something like this, where there’s abso-fucking-lutely nothing I can do. That is humbling as hell to someone like me, let me tell you…

Anyway, I know this is a bit overly introspective entry, but I am treating this like an actual diary, not a blog – hence the name. So deal with it, motherfuckers.

Oh yeah, and: I love you.

All of you.

And thank you for reading and being a part of my little digital world. 🥰

#Alexa

 

 

💡 The More You Know 💡

This year, an estimated 42,170 women will die from breast cancer in the U.S.

Although rare, men get breast cancer too. In 2020, an estimated 2,620 men will be diagnosed with breast cancer this year in the U.S., and approximately 520 will die.

 

https://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/

 

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links that earn me a small commission, at no additional cost to you. This is because I’m a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.

Good news, bad news, and baby fever…

Dear Diary,

So, I have good news, bad news, and horrifying news.

We’ll start with the good news: Not only is my left arm getting rapidly better, but I’m being a productive little loli to boot! Writing-wise, at least. I’ve been spending much of my free time taking on small writing side projects, mainly the Quickies stories The Doctor’s In, Breaking in The Babysitter, and Daddy Dearest. I had to take a brief break from writing so many serious stories and write a few short, silly, erotic ones instead. It’s proving to be creatively therapeutic and a lot of fun. I’ve also, as always, been working on Patreon content. Basically, I’m having way more fun than I probably should be, considering we’re still in a pandemic and our political scene is an absolute shitshow.

Now the bad news: It seems like every time I log onto Twitter (my favorite social media network), all I see on my feed is politics, anger, and straight-out hatred (and, of course, dick pics in my DMs 🙄). Rarely do I see anything positive, which is why I try and inject whatever I can when I jump on. The problem is, I’m not naturally a very funny person, and my sense of humor would be best described as weird to begin with, so I usually end up falling flat, but… I try, motherfuckers! 😅

I guess what I want to say is just because we have differences of opinion doesn’t mean we can’t get along. We’re all different. Why does this difference seem to anger some people? Why do they want to debate, insult, and threaten others just because they don’t think the way they do? What are they hoping to accomplish with this? What’s the end game? I mean, I’m not too fond of anchovies, but I never considered starting a hate group over them – or bashing someone that likes them. It just doesn’t matter to me what someone else likes to eat. It’s not my business, and honestly doesn’t interest me. Why does it matter to anyone what someone else thinks about politics, religions, or what goes on in the privacy of their bedroom? Think about it.

 

Accept the differences for what they are and move on. It’s not like your approval or disapproval will change anything anyway, nor should it.

 

I have plenty of friends that are vastly different than me: Trump supporters, anarchists, flat earthers, vegans, Christians, Satanists, Wiccans, etc. I’m not their friend because of what they believe; I’m their friend because of who they are.

Please remember when you conversate with others that they are people, and even though some of you feel extraordinarily brave behind a keyboard, try to live by one simple, easy to remember rule: never say anything to someone over the internet that you wouldn’t say to their face.

I think the world would be a much better place, ya know?

Now for the horrifying news. I think I’m starting to get baby fever. And this has to be the worst possible time to experience something like that: I’m single, we’re in a pandemic, and, you know, I hate children. 😭 In all honesty, I would make a horrible mother. No one needs like Alexaliens running around this world, believe me. Still… every time I see baby crap online or on TV, my fallopian tubes start acting like those inflatable tube men you see advertising something on the side of the road.

Le sigh.

To those of you that have children, send me an email or private social media message and let me know if you regret your decision. And be honest, because I really want to know what I’m getting myself into. If I decide to get myself into it, that is…

#Alexa

 

💡 The More You Know 💡

Nipples are erogenous zones because the sensation of hardened nipples travels to the same part of the brain as sensations from the vagina, cervix and the clitoris.

 

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links that earn me a small commission, at no additional cost to you. This is because I’m a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.

Walking around like I’m on stilts and why I ghost you…

Dear Diary,

I think I tore my left arm working out too hard. I kind of went a bit berserk last night (I had some serious stress to relieve), and ever since, the pain has been ridiculous. And it’s not just my arm, either: my entire body is sore. I’ve basically been walking around like I’m on stilts or something, much to Anne’s constant amusement. She’s getting a kick out of smack-talking and calling me a gimp; considering she’s used a wheelchair her entire life and has cerebral palsy/cancer, she gets a pass.

Flash forward about an hour after my workout.

I got out of the shower with a head spilling with writing ideas that seemed to assault me as I bathed and decided to unleash some creativity. The entire time I was wincing in pain, every movement seemed to hurt. Especially my left arm. Anyway, while I was writing, Anne threatened me with a hot bath to relax my muscles, and… well, I screen captured the conversation. 😅

 

 

See, these are the types of discussions I have all the time with my peeps. I’m special, I know. 😆

Speaking of being special.

I hope you guys know how much I love and appreciate you being in my little digital sphere, and how much your encouragement and attention means to me. So many of you write and message, and I wish I could respond to you all, but the only problem is I simply don’t have the time. I really, really, really try, but it’s just not feasibly possible. Sometimes this means it takes days (or weeks, depending) before I can finally sit down and respond to messages and emails (which I only check twice a week to begin with), which leads some people to believe that I dislike being social online, or that I’m bougie and ghosting people.

That is far from the truth.

If that’s how I was, I wouldn’t be so active on Twitter (my favorite social media network), and my DMs for all networks wouldn’t be open. It’s not a matter of hatred, dislike, or bougieness. It’s a matter of time. There are only so many hours in the day, and considering I do author work for eight of those hours, then spend time with my friends, big brother unit, working out, Patreon, and personal hobbies (something I often have to skip because by the time I finish everything else it’s usually bedtime)… I just don’t have time to have random conversations. Especially the ever-persistent deep communication of “Hi,” or “Where r u frm?” Seriously people, if you want to have a discussion, say something worth discussing! 😅 Preferably about something I’ve written, as that’s the primary reason I’m online – to connect with readers. It’s definitely not to find love or hook-up/cyber. That’s some next-level desperate thirsty shit that I just don’t need in my life. I mean, if that’s what I wanted, it would be easy enough to snag someone from my circle, you know? Not some random internet stranger during a pandemic. 😅 That makes about as much sense as those weird motherfuckers that take pictures of their food and post it to social media. Seriously, why do people do that?!

Anyway, I know how crazy things have been with the presidential election rapidly approaching, but console yourself with this: we are, regardless of religious or political affiliation, in this together. When everything is said and done, none of that shit truly matters anyway. What matters is that we are all people, we all deserve respect, and we all have feelings. Regardless if we agree with one another or not. Keep it real. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Period.

I love you all.

Be good to each other. ✌

#Alexa

 

“Where justice is denied, where poverty is enforced, where ignorance prevails, and where any one class is made to feel that society is an organized conspiracy to oppress, rob and degrade them, neither persons nor property will be safe.”

– Frederick Douglass

 

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links that earn me a small commission, at no additional cost to you. This is because I’m a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.