Debating my ratchetness

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Bleeding onto the keyboard

Dear Diary,

So, I deal with stress by writing. I put my head down and feverishly comb through old rough drafts and outlines, then, when I find something that strikes a chord in me, bleed onto the keyboard for the next couple of hours.

Or, in days like today, eight. I accomplished a lot of writing during that time, even finishing two short stories that I’ll be releasing under a pen name (my Patreon subscribers know what I’m talking about, and will get them for free as hush money 😅). One of them is really hot, while the other is… well, disturbing. It has its hot moments, but for the most part its pretty dark.

It’s called projecting, I’m told.

All that writing was therapeutic. And my day seemed to brighten as I channeled all that negative energy into my (well, my pen name’s) books. The most significant highlight being that the audiobook version of Amore: A Love Story is finally complete. I approved it, and now the narrator and I are just waiting for Audibles approval so it can go on sale! I also posted some NSFW pictures of my Skyrim character on Patreon. Check them out here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/18670768

Happy times. 🤗

By the way, if you haven’t devoted any of your mental and spiritual energy to the victims of the recent volcanic eruption in Hawaii, please do so. To the best of my knowledge, no one has been killed, but around 1,500 people have lost their homes and possessions, and that can be devastating. Trust me. I know. So, send some positivity their way, and try and not take your belongings for granted. They can quickly and easily be taken away from you.

Now, on a more positive note: I love you. All of you.

And thank you for reading. 💖

#Alexa

💡 The More You Know 💡

When a grasshopper ejaculates, it loses 1/3 of its body mass.

Stressed

Dear Diary,

This has been almost the exact opposite of what I like my Sundays to be: busy, stressful, and entirely too short. I don’t want to go into too much detail here, but… Life can really pull the rug out from you sometimes, you know? Luckily, I have friends I can go to – and that includes a lot of you. People I can randomly just hit up and talk with when things get really stressful.

Mainly it’s money issues, as in the manager raised rent without telling anyone and because I made a lot of purchases this month I’m finding myself in an unexpected financial straightjacket that I’m rarely in. But I’ll be OK.

Join Patreon/buy books! 😅

The day wasn’t an entirely bad one. After all the business crap was taken care of, I read some, and then Anne and I proceeded to have a Skyrim marathon. Which was fun as hell. I modded my character so she had long blonde hair, reflective sunglasses, booty shorts, a tank top, large white headphones on her head, and bling. 😁 God, I love that game.

Anyway, I still have things to think about – plus a full day ahead of me tomorrow starting out with going head to head with the manager – so I should probably end my entry here and get some sleep.

Thank you for reading.

Keep me in your thoughts. ❤

#Alexa

💡 The More You Know 💡

About 100 million couples around the world have sex every day. That means around 65,000 couples are having sex right now.

Braindead

Dear Diary,

Busy busy busy busy busy…

Absolutely nothing entertaining happened today. All I did was author things. All. Fricking. Day. I did this because during the weekend I try and give myself a break from writing-related things, so I wanted to get as much done as I could.

The result?

Well.

• I finished the green revision of The Siren’s Song. Which means all I have to do is grammar check Monday and get it out to my Beta Reader Hit Squad. And then everyone on Patreon gets it for free! Everyone else will get it May of 2019.
• I approved the final version of The Qedesha’s Handmaiden: A Qedesha Story. Now we’re just waiting on Audibles approval.
• Was informed that Voyeur: Season 1, Episode 5 has been accepted by Amazon for August 1stpreorder and is currently going through the final stages of publishing.
• Was also informed that the new edition of Knocked Up In Prison! was accepted and is available now. So, if you’ve bought it previously, refresh it or something. I have no idea how Amazon handles new editions. I know they provide newer editions to buyers, but… I decided not to redo the cover, because I kind of like the one I have now. But the insides? Beautiful. 😊
• A little birdie told me that I have a new Patreon subscriber! 🙌 Thank you, Warren van Tassell, for joining me on the Voyeur tier! It is really, really appreciated, and I hope you’ll like the rewards you get as a result!
• And finally, I published yet another answer on my Quora account, something I plan to do at least once a week. Maybe more, I dunno. We’ll see.

Anyway, it’s time for me to mentally unwind and dive into some Skyrim with Anne.

I love you all.

Thank you for reading.

I mean that, by the way. Thank you. 💖

#Alexa

💡 The More You Know 💡

A woman’s breasts increase in size by up to 25% when she is sexually aroused.

Getting ahead of myself

Dear Diary,

So, I have this book I’m writing, The Siren’s Song, about an orphan named Arielle that grew up with strange gifts. She lives in a small town very few people know about and is growing tired and frustrated with not only her loneliness but with her body’s unquenched yearnings.

She decides to use her abilities, her magic, to do something about it.

She was not expecting what resulted…

Here’s a little poem I made up and placed in the book that kind of neatly sums up her predicament:

As above and so below,

In peace of mind and perfect trust.

By power of three, so mote it be,

In perfect love and perfect lust.

The story is getting… intense. I started it out initially as a basic sexy story involving a siren and two men, but, well, you know me. I can’t write a basic fuck-book to save my life. I started adding tiny details here and there, and then conversations sprung up, and situations kind of just happened… and before you knew it, it somehow morphed into a supernatural romance between two jealous and conflicting brothers while I wasn’t looking.

And I’m not done.

😳

I know I’m kind of getting ahead of myself, but I’m beginning to really like this Arielle chick and can easily see writing about her more when I finish the Nephilim series (which is what’s scheduled after I finish this story). The Siren’s Song should be completed within two to three days, after which I’m sending it off to my Beta Reader Hit Squad, and then I’m taking a brief break while they read it. During this time, I’ll probably organize and prepare my notes to dive back into the Nephilim universe, though I’m considering also knocking off the first episode of Voyeur’s season two first. But that’s it.

Of course, this means if you haven’t yet read Nephilim: Daybreak, you really should.

I cannot wait to write Nephilim: Prisoner. It’s haunting me. 👻

Hopefully, it will haunt you, too…

#Alexa

💡 The More You Know 💡

Female hyenas have clitorises that extend seven inches out of their bodies and serve as pseudopenises as well as the birth canal.

Lap dancing in public – or, how I almost got kicked out of a restaurant 😏

Dear Diary,

This day did not go as planned. I did manage to finish the rough draft of The Siren’s Song (which took way longer than I anticipated – you can read it here https://buff.ly/2KwjRTN if you want), and I figured I’d just wait until the bestie got off work and get picked up by the brother unit. Then we’d go home, and I would cuddle with an enjoyable book and read until I got tired.

But no.

My brother wanted to test me.

Which is why I almost got kicked out of a buffet restaurant.

Maybe I should explain.

See, my brother knows I have this sort of phobia of buffets, probably because when I was younger I had a…well, a fairly serious eating disorder that put me in the hospital a few times. He’s been trying to break me of this phobia for a while now, but I just have this intense dislike bordering on apathy for anything that even looks like a buffet. I can’t help it. It’s called a phobia (an irrational fear) for a reason.

So, of course, my brother thought it would be an excellent idea to take Anne and me to one of the biggest buffets in the area when I mentioned I was hungry on the way home. Anne, of course, was all for it, but I threw a bit of a tantrum when we got there and refused to get out of the car.

Am I proud of this? Of course I am. Motherfucker knew better. I blame him for my tantrum. 😅

Anyway, flash forward about 15 minutes. We’re sitting at the table with our plates (he bribed me with the return of Skynet – my drone – to get me out of the car), and Anne got a plate of various vegetables and meat while my knuckle-dragging brother got two plates stacked with every dead animal he could find. And a breadstick. One breadstick. Cause balance, apparently. I got a salad.

You’re probably wondering how I was almost kicked out.

I’m getting to it.

Be patient. 😅

See, I finished my plate long before everyone else did, so I got bored, and a bored Alexa is never a good thing. I started walking around the restaurant talking to people at the other tables, admiring babies, shaking hands and sitting down with other couples… I probably looked like I was running for office or something. My brother, irritated with this (which was kind of the goal) called me back to the table and told me to sit down.

So, I did.

On Anne’s lap.

And then proceeded to give her a lap dance. Your girl can give a mean lap dance. 😏

I’ve never seen my brother eat so fast before!

His fault. I told him I didn’t want to go. Motherfucker should have listened.

Apparently, I created so much of a scene that the manager came out to talk to us, warning me that if I didn’t stop he would have to ask us to leave. I countered by asking him if he read erotica, because I happen to be an author of it and if he visited alexanichols.com he could see for himself. (Always push the merch! 😆) He didn’t even answer, he just mumbled something and walked away.

Coincidentally, I did have more sales than usual earlier…

Sigh.

I got off Anne’s lap and behaved the rest of the time, watching my brother’s face gradually return to its standard healthy pink color. It went through quite a few shades first though. 🙌

It was fun.

Anyway, I love you all.

Thanks for reading.

#Alexa

💡 The More You Know 💡

Opossums have a double-headed penis.

Do you like to watch?

Dear Diary,

So Voyeur: Season 1 Episode 4 is finally released into the wild! Voyeur, in case you didn’t know, is my one and only episodic erotica series, something I plan on doing…basically forever. Think of it as an erotic soap opera with more drama, love, and mystery. I’m in love with the series, and this episode in particular, well…it’s pretty intense. A lot of things come to a head, and it sets things up nicely for the season finale (which is next episode). If you motherfuckers haven’t started reading this series yet, you really should – each episode is short, only .99, and is released semi-regularly. I’ll get better at releasing them faster, promise.

So, go grab episode 1. Right now. I’ll wait. 🕓

Annnyway.

I did absolutely no writing today, but then I rarely do on the first, since I have so many author/personal tasks that rudely spontaneously erupt on my task manager.

And then, of course, Microsoft decided to release an update the size of my libido to Windows 10 today that took forever to finish installing. Which is precisely what I need when I’m trying to get a million things done…

All of this is why I’ve also kept away from social media – I just didn’t have time for it today. So if you messaged me and I didn’t respond, please forgive me. Your girls been hella busy. Having fun, of course, but hella busy. Honestly, I didn’t miss social media itself very much, but I missed several of you assholes immensely*.

Tomorrow I’ll be more available. 🤗

And hopefully my eyesight will be completely normal. Right now there’s still a double-vision thing going on, but it isn’t as bad as it was yesterday. At least the migraines are over with!

Anyway, back to watching Asian lesbian porn my task list. And the doggie.

I love you all.

Motherfuckers.

#Alexa

* Word is steadily trying to force me to change you assholes into your assholes. 😆 That would have slightly changed the meaning of that sentence. Just a little. See, this just goes to show that you can’t trust grammar programs too much! 😏

“When guys talk about sex, eyebrows don’t get raised. It’s different for girls.”

– Lauren Myracle