Skyrim can now be played on – me?!

Dear Diary,

HOLY SHIT Y’ALL I JUST FOUND OUT YOU CAN LEGIT PLAY SKYRIM ON AMAZON ALEXA! Which I don’t have, of course, so I ended up downloading the Alexa app to my phone to test this out. It’s fucking awesome. It threw me straight into my Dungeons & Dragons playing days, and I spent way more time testing it than I should have. But it was so fucking fun!

Thanks to my homie-g DJay on Goodreads for hipping me up to this; I saw the advertisement for it but assumed (like a lot of other people did) that it was just a joke. It’s really not. Motherfucker even saves your game when you exit. I mean, it’s a tongue-in-cheek kind of Skyrim, but it’s still a playable game.

I suggested it to Tara Babcock for her gaming channel; we’ll see if she does it or not. Peer pressure her!

Yeah, Skyrim on Alexa was definitely the highlight of my day, if you can’t tell. I’m such a fucking nerd. 😅

Speaking of being a nerd. I finally finished my writing project with my erotica pen name, which means by Tuesday I might get to actually write! I’m going to completely finish Voyeur: Season 2, Episode 2, then finish a few smaller projects by other pen names, and then – AND THEN – the Nephilim series! And then my Loliverse! Bwahahahahaha!

For now though? The weekend! Hit me up. Especially if you’re on Patreon, the only app I have running on my phone’s background 24/7. Tell me what you’ll be playing/watching this weekend. I love hearing from you guys. 😊

Love you all.

Siempre.

#Alexa

“Obviously there is no such thing as race, and in many ways, sex is a continuum, not a binary. So it doesn’t make sense to label people in that way.”

– Gloria Steinem

Simmering my mind. 🧠

Dear Diary,

There’s really not much to write about today, so I’m going to keep this short. My day consisted of playing HuniePop on my laptop while Anne played on my tablet, completely turning off social media for the majority of the day, and napping. Kind of. I say kind of because when Anne and I took a break from HuniePop to rest our eyes for a bit, we ended up sleeping almost eight flipping hours, so now I’m wide-awake and ready to start my day.

At almost 11 motherfucking PM. 🙄

Good thing I’m itching to write!

I think I need days like this sometimes, days where my mind just basically shuts off and simmers. I’m pretty sure it’s days like this that keep me sane.

Anyway, if any of you can’t sleep, feel free to hit me up through one of my 315 social media channels and we can chat for a bit. Of course, this offer only extends for a few hours, as after that I’m turning off all social media (except for my Patreon, of course, the only notifications I keep active – you can hit me up there 24/7) so I can immerse myself in my words.

Until tomorrow, lovers.

Dream of me…

#Alexa

“I practice safe sex – I use an airbag.”

– Garry Shandling

A Diva Day

Dear Diary,

Such a strange day. Woke up at 3AM and couldn’t get back to sleep, so I decided to write – which I ended up doing for almost 12 hours. I completely outlined Voyeur Season 2 Episode 2, heavily dented three different projects under various pen names (you Patreon motherfuckers get ready) and submitted Interview With A Werewolf to Amazon for September 1st preorder. Once (if) Amazon approves it I’ll give you guys the link.

Professionally it was a productive day.

Personally, not so much. Maybe it was my lack of sleep, but I got into a screaming match with my big brother, and the sad part is I knew I was in the wrong even as I was in the middle of screaming, but I couldn’t just stop myself from being stupid because the momentum had been set and my mouth refused to quit moving. Have you ever had that happen to you? Honestly, I’m surprised he didn’t just slap me unconscious. I kind of deserved it.

And then I ended up getting into a fight with Anne several hours later that was again wholly my fault. It didn’t start out that way, but I sure accelerated the shit out of it and kept it going.

Sigh. I guess it was a diva day for me. I have them every once in a while. Fortunately, not very often.

My solution to this: get drunk, play a quest in Skyrim, and write some more. Cause fuck sleep. Anne’s at the store right now getting us beer as I write this.

You only live once, right?

🍻

#Alexa

“Women always go through the door first. Even ardent feminists would admit it’s nice. It’s not an acknowledgment of women as the weaker sex; it’s perhaps an acknowledgment of women as the stronger sex.”

– Lyle Lovett

I need some advice. Seriously.

Dear Diary,

A typical butt-naked Sunday. Anne binge-watched Jane the Virgin on Netflix, I read and slept, and my bestie took her dog to the groomers.

Relaxing. 😊

Since I slept so much today, I’m going to go ahead and get started on tomorrows writing, which is mainly putting the finishing touches on that short story I wrote for that woman I visited. I’ve been working on it slavishly for a while, though I didn’t mention it because I’m releasing it under another name. You Patreon motherfuckers will get it soon, along with The Siren’s Song, which I (finally) fully compiled.

I’m going to leave you guys with a question, because I really want your advice: do you think I should create social accounts for my erotica pen name as I have for mine? If so, to what degree?

Let me know either by responding here or by messaging me via social media.

I Love you guys.

Until tomorrow…

#Alexa

“The fact that a baby can be born today and condemned to a life of hardship, struggle, and discrimination simply because of sex is enraging.”

– Adora Svitak

Anne’s mouth. 😲

Dear Diary,

It is fucking hot outside, people! I mean, offensively hot! I didn’t realize just how hot it got during the day (I’m usually indoors working) but I had to take Anne to the dentist (34 root canals) and damn. 😖

And to make matters worse: I couldn’t get that motherfucking song The Humpty Dance out of my head the entire time.

I did manage to get quite a few things done today on the author front however (probably because I woke up at 4:44AM) such as completely finishing Voyeur’s Season 1 Collection (scheduled to be released in November unless you’re a member of my Patreon clique) and re-reading Nephilim: Daybreak in preparation for starting Nephilim: Prisoner. So much I forgot about…which is why I’m staying on this damn series until it’s finished. And I’m going to seriously think twice before I start another series like this again. 😆

Voyeur doesn’t count, of course. That’s my passion project.

So that’s been my day in a nutshell, dear diary: working, holding Anne’s hand while she got mauled by the dentist, and (as always) terrorizing social media.

In short: a beautiful day.

Goodnight, my peeps.

I love you guys.

Always.

#Alexa

P.S.: If you were wondering about the origin of Butt Naked Sundays (and what my big brothers reaction to it is), your wish has been fulfilled: https://www.patreon.com/posts/19154449 . You’re welcome. 😊

“Yet, if the most frequent sex and apparently the best sex is that between married partners who are faithful to one another, is there not a hint that affection might be an important aspect of sex? Even love?”

– Andrew Greeley

I’m almost there!

Dear Diary,

I had an impressively productive day today. Not only did I completely finish Quickies Cumpilation Volume 3, (If you haven’t picked up volumes one and two, you really should. Good stuff.) but I also published another collection of short stories under a pen name. Patreon subscribers: be on the lookout for it soon.

So yeah. I’m pretty proud of myself.

Especially since this means all I have left is to finish Voyeur Season 1 Collection, and then I get to dive into the Nephilim series again in earnest – something I’m really excited about. I’ll also be getting the cover for Nephilim: Daybreak redid and editing the innards again to make sure everything is up to snuff. After that though? Nephilim: Prisoner! And then the rest of the Nephilim series. I might take a few brief breaks to churn out another episode of Voyeur, but besides that, it’s all Nephilim all the time until all five books are complete.

And then? A brief pit-stop to finish a few more books I already have rough drafts for, then over to my Loliverse! (Which spawned from the novella Killer Lolis, in case you’re just now tuning in).

I really love being a writer! 🤗

Topic switch.

While I was compiling this Quickies Cumpilation, I was watching (making fun of) Anne’s shows with her: Teen Mom 2, Young and Pregnant, Love & Hip Hop, etc. on the MTV/VH1 apps (which I have on my tablet and stream to her television). And for some reason, every commercial that popped up was from Nigeria. Let me tell you, they have some strange commercials. 😅 And then a commercial popped up for a YouTube video. A YouTube video! Since when in the fuck did they start putting out commercials for YouTube videos?!

Loved it. It definitely kept me entertained while I worked.

Anyway, off to Skyrim. I have sweetrolls to steal and knees to shoot. 🍰

#Alexa

💡 The More You Know 💡

Alligators have erections for 100% of their lifetime.

My first – and last – time…

Dear Diary,

I’m pushing out this entry super early because I have a lot to do before I head back home. Yesterday was a somber day; today was a bit lighter, but more thoughtful. We stayed up so late last night talking and sharing stories (and even talking about Skyrim ⚔) that I lost track of time, and when I finally did get to bed, it was a fitful sleep. My mind just wouldn’t turn off. I kept crafting her story in my head, trying to figure out how much detail I wanted to include, how I should present it, what to take out and what to leave in…

And whether I would ever do something like this again.

The conclusion I came to: hell no. I won’t. Telling someone’s story carries a lot of weight with it, and while it’s a challenge (and I loves me some challenges) after this, I think I’ll stick to the good old Alexaverse. So, if you’re reading this and you have any inkling of contacting me to ask me about telling your story, please don’t. Because this has been mental hell.

Of course, unless you’re a VIP member of my Patreon, in which case you get to request a custom short story once a month if you so choose. (Always push the merch! 😅)

Otherwise: I’ll pass. Not that I don’t love reading your stories, so if you want to email or message me on social media, please do, I’m just not taking on any more personal projects like this.

I always said I would try anything once. This is that once.

Anyway, I have to go.

I love you.

All of you.

For reals.

💖

#Alexa

💡 The More You Know 💡

It’s believed that red underwear is considered sexy because it’s an evolutionary callback to when our rumps used to get all hot and red when the ladies of the species wanted a man.

Gotta go! ✈

Dear Diary,

I’m writing this 30 minutes before I have to leave because the day completely blazed by and I got sidetracked 13 different ways. It was a hell of a hectic day, but I managed to get everything done that I wanted/needed to do considering I’m not going to be able to work for the next three days, so it wasn’t all in vain.

It does mean this is likely going to be a short entry, however.

Before I go any further: Thank you, Samuel Chevron, for joining my Patreon at the Voyeur tier! Your support is really appreciated (way more than you know!), and I hope you enjoy all the benefits your membership entails! 💖

Now, do I have some news for you guys. The Qedesha’s Handmaiden: A Qedesha Story is now available in audiobook form, as is Amore: A Love Story! Further, every single book I’ve created under my erotica pen name has been picked up (and quickly!) to be made into an audiobook! And Anne somehow managed to make her Skyrim character do the stinky leg! It was really fucking funny! 😅

I have to jet. Literally.

I love you all, and I’ll write more tomorrow.

Wish me a safe flight! ✈

#Alexa

💡 The More You Know 💡

From an evolutionary standpoint, women are louder in bed to attract other males. Men are taught by evolution to become more aroused when they think a woman has had sex recently.

Getting ready for Butt Naked Sunday!

Dear Diary,

I’ve been running poor Anne emotionally ragged today. Seriously. And she’s been so sweet about it, not even bitching or anything. See, I’ve been trying to get not only my tasks complete, but everything packed and ready to go for my trip tomorrow night, so I’ve been running around everywhere acting like a spider monkey on meth (like, more so than usual). I’ve almost finished everything (I even published a book under an erotic pen name today!), so tomorrow we should be able to have our regularly scheduled butt-naked Sunday (no, I am not joking, and yes, we are actually butt-naked all Sunday) and just exhale for a bit before I have to leave.

So. Frazzled. Yeah. That’s me. And her by transference. 😅

Now, for a complete topic switch. A lot of you have asked why I needed that long break a while ago, and for the most part, I kind of shrugged off the question. I didn’t even know how to begin to explain everything that happened.

Well, it’s time to start opening up. So, I did just that, pouring out my soul and explaining everything to my Patreon subscribers. You can find the full post here: “Why I Needed A Break” (https://buff.ly/2Gyj15O). It wasn’t an easy post o write, but it needed to be aired. And I feel loads better now. 😊

Now to just assassinate this handful of tasks that are sitting here glaring at me as I type this…

Before I go, however, a heads-up: when I get back from my trip I’m going to do something completely whacky, something I’ve never done before. It’s going to be fun (definitely a mind-fuck), and I’m going to document every single day of it.

I bet you’re wondering what I’m going to do.

You’ll just have to wait and see.

Mark the 24th on your calendars, lovers. Shit’s going to get crazy… 😏

#Alexa

💡 The More You Know 💡

In Victorian times, a slang term for a prostitute was “blowsy.” At the same time, “blow” was slang for ejaculation. So, by the 1930s, the act of fellatio came to be known as a blow job. In Ancient Greece, the common slang for a blow job was “playing the flute.”

Good girls don’t spit

Dear Diary,

So, I somehow managed to blow my ear right ear out. To clarify, I managed to come down with an ear infection, and if it wasn’t for Anne force-feeding me some mystery pill she still won’t tell me the name of I would be in a bad way right now. And when I say force-fed, I mean force-fed: she crept over to my writing station after I refused to take any medication and literally shoved it in my mouth. And then handed me a bottle of icy water. I would have spit the pill out, but it already started dissolving, and… as we all know, good girls don’t spit. 😏

Of course, my Patreon peeps already know this about me. 😅

Anyway, I have been writing like a mad-woman these past few days so I can wrap up all these projects I have floating around me and start Nephilim: Prisoner before I leave for Ohio Sunday night. I already finished Voyeur: Season 2, Episode 1 and put a load of notes down for episode 2. I also finally finished another story by my erotica pen name – a large story – that will be out any day now.

I’ve been busy as fuck.

Which is why Anne and I are taking a break for the rest of the day and playing the shit out of Skyrim. I added some interesting mods that are intended to make the game more real: Realistic Needs and Diseases and Campfire – Complete Camping System. I played with them for a bit last night and fell head over heels in love with them. Anne saw how much fun I was having and wanted a similar experience, so she went to Creation Club on her PS4 and purchased Survival Mode, and after about ten minutes nearly threw her controller across the room. She wasn’t a fan, especially when she realized she couldn’t fast travel. 😅. She disabled it.

I’m keeping mine!

Thanks for reading, as always.

Until tomorrow, my loves…

#Alexa

💡 The More You Know 💡

The record for having sex with the most men in 24 hours goes to American Lisa Sparks who bedded an incredible 919. That’s roughly 38 men per hour.

Staying in bed with Anne 😜

Dear Diary,

I didn’t want to get out of bed today. I woke up several minutes before my alarm went off and just stared at the ceiling, not feeling life at all. I knew I had to get up and start writing, but I just had zero motivation to leave the warmth and comfort of my bed.

This is not how I usually am.

My typical morning consists of me springing out of bed, slapping on some clothes, snatching whatever happens to be in my brother’s hands for breakfast and going to Anne’s, setting up my writing station and writing/doing author tasks for the next eight hours. My energy is usually insane, and when the coffee kicks in… I get a lot done.

Not today.

Anne spent the night last night, so when my alarm went off she just kind of looked over at me.

“We’re not getting up, are we?”

I shook my head. “Nope. Not a chance in hell.”

“OK,” she shrugged, turning back around and almost immediately resuming her snoring.

And that was it. We went back to sleep. 😅 I woke up several hours later feeling alert, refreshed, and generally just happy. Anne woke up and immediately wanted to take a nap. 😳

Of course, sleeping in doesn’t mean I didn’t do my author junk: I slammed out 90% of Voyeur Season 2 Episode 1 (I’m having issues with figuring out exactly how I want to end it), then assassinated task after task, including a lot of work on pen name projects (if you’re a member of Patreon, log in. You have a surprise. 😏)

All in all? A good day.

Just a little off-schedule…

#Alexa

💡 The More You Know 💡

If your parents had waited five seconds later, or began five seconds earlier, you wouldn’t be here.

Bleeding onto the keyboard

Dear Diary,

So, I deal with stress by writing. I put my head down and feverishly comb through old rough drafts and outlines, then, when I find something that strikes a chord in me, bleed onto the keyboard for the next couple of hours.

Or, in days like today, eight. I accomplished a lot of writing during that time, even finishing two short stories that I’ll be releasing under a pen name (my Patreon subscribers know what I’m talking about, and will get them for free as hush money 😅). One of them is really hot, while the other is… well, disturbing. It has its hot moments, but for the most part its pretty dark.

It’s called projecting, I’m told.

All that writing was therapeutic. And my day seemed to brighten as I channeled all that negative energy into my (well, my pen name’s) books. The most significant highlight being that the audiobook version of Amore: A Love Story is finally complete. I approved it, and now the narrator and I are just waiting for Audibles approval so it can go on sale! I also posted some NSFW pictures of my Skyrim character on Patreon. Check them out here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/18670768

Happy times. 🤗

By the way, if you haven’t devoted any of your mental and spiritual energy to the victims of the recent volcanic eruption in Hawaii, please do so. To the best of my knowledge, no one has been killed, but around 1,500 people have lost their homes and possessions, and that can be devastating. Trust me. I know. So, send some positivity their way, and try and not take your belongings for granted. They can quickly and easily be taken away from you.

Now, on a more positive note: I love you. All of you.

And thank you for reading. 💖

#Alexa

💡 The More You Know 💡

When a grasshopper ejaculates, it loses 1/3 of its body mass.

Braindead

Dear Diary,

Busy busy busy busy busy…

Absolutely nothing entertaining happened today. All I did was author things. All. Fricking. Day. I did this because during the weekend I try and give myself a break from writing-related things, so I wanted to get as much done as I could.

The result?

Well.

• I finished the green revision of The Siren’s Song. Which means all I have to do is grammar check Monday and get it out to my Beta Reader Hit Squad. And then everyone on Patreon gets it for free! Everyone else will get it May of 2019.
• I approved the final version of The Qedesha’s Handmaiden: A Qedesha Story. Now we’re just waiting on Audibles approval.
• Was informed that Voyeur: Season 1, Episode 5 has been accepted by Amazon for August 1stpreorder and is currently going through the final stages of publishing.
• Was also informed that the new edition of Knocked Up In Prison! was accepted and is available now. So, if you’ve bought it previously, refresh it or something. I have no idea how Amazon handles new editions. I know they provide newer editions to buyers, but… I decided not to redo the cover, because I kind of like the one I have now. But the insides? Beautiful. 😊
• A little birdie told me that I have a new Patreon subscriber! 🙌 Thank you, Warren van Tassell, for joining me on the Voyeur tier! It is really, really appreciated, and I hope you’ll like the rewards you get as a result!
• And finally, I published yet another answer on my Quora account, something I plan to do at least once a week. Maybe more, I dunno. We’ll see.

Anyway, it’s time for me to mentally unwind and dive into some Skyrim with Anne.

I love you all.

Thank you for reading.

I mean that, by the way. Thank you. 💖

#Alexa

💡 The More You Know 💡

A woman’s breasts increase in size by up to 25% when she is sexually aroused.

Giving it to my besties doggie 😳

Dear Diary,

I know it been a few days since my last entry, but I have several good reasons for that: life sucks ass. I posted something on social media earlier today that succinctly describes why I’ve been absent these past few days:

They say bad things come in threes…

• Swamped with Real Life© crap that kept me away from writing.
• Immediately after hit with a migraine that kept me from writing.
• Migraine was gone this morning…but my vision is blurry unless I’m JUST enough away from something.

And you know what? I don’t give a fuck. I’m going to write because I’m going crazy over here. You motherfuckers will just have to learn to love the typos until my vision clears. 😅

And there you have it. So, if there are any typos in this entry, you’ll just have to learn to love them.

On a separate note, I don’t think I mentioned this to anyone yet, but currently I’m at the besties dog-sitting for the next three days all by my lonesome. And let me tell you, this is one clingy, codependent miniature schnauzer. He’s so adorable though, and every time I look at him I just want to go over and play with/cuddle/tickle him. I can’t help it. It doesn’t help that if he catches me looking at him he bounds over and practically jumps in my lap. 😆 If my big brother wasn’t such an animal racist, I would have one of my own.

Maybe I should get some of you to spam his email.

And while you’re at it, you can petition to liberate Skynet (my drone) from wherever the fuck he’s hiding it. Cause I can’t find that motherfucker anywhere! 😳

Anyway, being here by myself with da doggie has been a real meditative experience. I’ve been using the time to catch up on porn writing and author tasks, which really needed it as these past few days I’ve been in my bed moaning and whining. For all of you guys that wrote me and inquired as to my health, thank you so much. It means more to me than you know.

And speaking of things that mean a lot to me: my new VIP tier Patreon, Troy Lake! Thank you so much for joining! I’m willing to bet that you’ll like all the perks your VIP status will get you. 😏

Also, Anne. Girl, I have no idea why you put up with me, but I’m so glad you do. Especially when migraines hit. Luckily, they only happen every few months, but still. You’re so patient and understanding. You’re going to make a fantastic mother one day. For reals. You’re practically my mom now! Maybe I should change my last name to Barrett… 😛

This entry is long enough, and my eyes are really starting to hurt, so I’m signing off. Thank you for reading, everyone.

Seriously.

#Alexa

💡 The More You Know 💡

The average human sperm cell or spermatocyte contains about 37.5Mb of genetic data. So when orgasm occurs, roughly 1.5Gb of data is ‘ejaculated’ in about 3 seconds, a data transfer rate 6 orders of magnitude, or a few million times, faster than an average internet connection.

Hitting the ground running

Dear Diary,

It felt absolutely wondrous to jump back into the daily routine of writing. And I finished a lot of it, knocking out the yellow revision of Knocking Up The MILF, working on The Siren’s Song for a bit, and – finally – dived headfirst into Nephilim: Prisoner, the sequel to Nephilim: Daybreak. It felt so good to start it. Tomorrow cannot come quick enough so I can continue.

I also received some fantastic news from the narrator I hired to do the audiobook version of The Qedesha’s Handmaiden. She just uploaded chapters 6,7, and 8, and is currently working on 9,10, and the epilogue now. Which means in the next day or two, she’ll be completely finished. 🙌

I can’t wait!

Also, if you’re a member of my Patreon and want to check out the rough draft of Voyeur Season 1, Episode 5, you can do so here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/18358393. While you’re there, you can also check out my recent post, “Why I don’t use publishing houses,” found here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/18359553.

Yes, I hit the ground running today!

Now if I can just quit sneezing uncontrollably, my day would be phenomenal! 😅

Until tomorrow, my loves…

#Alexa

💡 The More You Know 💡

Pigs orgasm for 30 minutes. 😳

Kinky mermaids…

Dear Diary,

I have this story I’ve been working on secretly for a while now that some of you may remember me talking about recently; what you may not know is that it’s my first ever attempt at a pure fantasy yarn with hardcore sexual elements. Not to mention a hot male/male/female (or MMM – male/male/mermaid?) relationship, something I’ve never written about. It’s hot, and my graphics team just finished the cover. The end result is this:

It’s actually finished, but I’m going to run it through my patented triple revision process just to make sure it’s exactly the way I want it. You guys know how neurotic I can be. 😅 After that? I’m giving it away to my Patreon subscribers, regardless of tier level, as a gift. It will be for sale on Amazon later next year, but they deserve things like this from time to time. 😊

Aside from the severe Tomb Raider/Skyrim-athon Anne and I subjected ourselves to today, there’s really not much to report.

Until tomorrow (bestie day!) …

#Alexa

💡 The More You Know 💡

Four popes have died during sex.

Anne’s slayed vagina…

Dear Diary,

“OK, these pants have to come off because they’re slaying my vagina.”

It was that comment that almost ended my life today. 😅

It was just the way Anne said it; you had to have been there. Maybe I should explain just a bit. See, Anne has this habit of running around naked when its just us girls, but I had some business paperwork to sign so I had it delivered to my place. Which meant she had to get dressed.

And she was not happy about it.

And apparently, her pants were slaying her vagina the entire time.

It only took a few minutes, but the second he left she plopped down on the bed and started wiggling out of her pants like they were full of ants. After about three seconds she glared at me and went “OK, these pants have to come off because they’re slaying my vagina. Can you please help me get these off?!” like it was the most severe, crucial thing ever.

I almost died right there. It was beautiful.

Little things like that just make my day.

Writing-wise, I killed it, completely finishing and compiling Voyeur: Season 1, Episode 5 (it’s scheduled to be released August 1st unless you’re a member of my Patreon, in which case you’ll be getting it free next month), getting about halfway through Knocking Up The MILF’s yellow revision, and laying the groundwork for some top-secret author stuff I’ll be announcing soon.

I’ll just say this for now: your girl is branching out!

My personal life, however, was nowhere near as impressive. I made plans to hang with the bestie Sunday, but other than that…boring. Well, with the small exception of Anne’s pants slaying her vagina. I’m not really complaining though. Dull days are nice sometimes. Especially for me, considering how crazy my life usually is.

I’m thinking about getting drunk tonight, I dunno. Drunk Skyrim sounds really appealing. And reading.

Until tomorrow, lov—

Liver: Wait a minute, wench. You promised no more drinking for the rest of the month.

Me: Prove it, motherfucker.

Liver: Fine. Let me check my texts… aaannnddd all my texts from you are gone.

[smiling smugly]

Liver: You deleted them when I was sleeping, didn’t you? Because you knew you were getting plastered tonight.

[smiling smugly]

Liver: I know you did. That’s fucked up. Does honesty mean nothing to you?

[smiling smugly]

Sucka.

Enjoy your weekend, loves.

I know I will.

#Alexa

💡 The More You Know 💡

The French national anthem, “La Marseillaise,” derived its title from the enthusiasm of the men of Marseilles, France, who sang it when they marched into Paris at the outset of the French Revolution. Rouget de Lisle, its composer, was an artillery officer. According to his account, he fell asleep at a harpsichord and dreamt the words and the music. Upon waking, he remembered the entire piece from his dream and immediately wrote it down.

The AlexaTrain 🚆

Dear Diary,

My bladder hates me. For some reason, it decided to wake me up last night every couple of hours, right as I was hitting REM. Which is a real problem, because my creativity, enthusiasm and overall quirkiness are all intrinsically tied to the amount of sleep I get.

So, you can guess how I’m feeling today. Tired. Unfocused. Hostile. Oh, and my periods early. So basically, fuck life. 😅

If you know me at all, you know that I’m exaggerating my attitude. One day of jagged sleep isn’t going to derail the AlexaTrain, believe me. Two won’t either. Three? I’m stabbing a motherfucker in the forehead. Drastic jump, I know, but this Diary is all about full disclosure, so whatever. 🔪

Despite my slightly fuzzy outlook, I managed to get a slew of author tasks knocked out, including adding more anime chicks to my website, finishing the yellow revision of Voyeur: Season 1, Episode 5 (the season finale), getting halfway into the yellow revision of my upcoming Disney (🐭) exclusive Knocking Up The MILF, and completely finishing the rough draft of a story I’ve been keeping from everyone, The Siren’s Song. It’s fucking hot. Short, but hot. Like me! 🙌

I also posted something on my Patreon, titled My Daily Schedule, and you can check it out here as soon as you’re done reading this entry: https://www.patreon.com/posts/18282669.

Ugh. Just typing all that out makes me exhausted. I did a lot more today than I thought! 😅

Which is why I’m about to hit the shower and go to bed. I need to sleep. Badly. I don’t want to have a second day of sleeplessness, and no one wants me getting to day three. 🔪🗡🍴

Thank you for reading, loves. ❤

#Alexa

Motherfucker count: 2 (slacking today, apparently)

“Any sex outside of the marriage bond between a man and a woman is violating God’s law.”

– Jerry Falwell